Blog virgin no more.

SO...this is my VERY first blog ever. Blog cherry popped!! I can officially check this bad boy off of my bucket list. So is it sad that I have "write a blog" on my bucket list??! I have to be honest I really didn't understand the point of blogging. The whole idea of reading about someones opinions about certain topics and hobbies or their CATS just seemed sort of annoying. I can confess that I haven't read many blogs. I'm SO behind on the trend. I'm not really a trend follower nor am I trend setter. I just sort of mosey along at my own pace. However, I have been reading some of my FB friends blogs. So my interests just went from there I guess. SO I thought, why not give this whole blogging world a good go-around!!



I really just would like to test my ability to write. Becoming an author is also on my bucket list, and if you attended Paris High School and you were a former classmate to participate in the 2004 graduation and you have a copy of that big Senior packet thingy then check out my "What will you be doing in 10 years" because I'm pretty sure it says something about having 4 kids and becoming a children's book author? Generally I just want to tell stories. I have thought about doing full on novel writing or maybe just putting out some short stories. I don't know yet. I have a few things/issues/topics I would like to write about. Obviously it's something that I have been wanting to do since I was in high school. My mom brain (and my boys) just really keep all my creative energy blocked. Almost to the point that I feel like a zombie sometimes. 


Anyway, on to this blog. Ritual birthday this Saturday. Dreading. I'm turning 26 and the whole celebratory atmosphere surrounding birthdays is just depressing to me this year. I always looked forward to it every single year of my life and I usually end up disappointed. My guess is that it just never lives up to hype I give myself for the day. I suppose I let myself down because it's my day and I can let each day, not just my birthday be a day to celebrate so then I just end up having a lowsy day. Lol. Not every year has been like that. My 20th birthday I had a baby shower and I got my marriage proposal and I stuffed my fat pregnant face with mexican food so that was awesome!! :) Maybe I'm secretly afraid of the BIG 30??! Which doesn't surprise me because when I turned 20 I had a mini panick attack about turning 20!! Lol. Pathedic, right? My BF and I have this thing we say to each other on almost every birthday, "You're approaching 30!" There's no real reason why we say it. But what happens after I turn 30?? I feel like just turning into one of those woman who just forget about their birthdays or rather the age I guess and pretend that thier 29 for the reast of their lives and then eventually they sort of forget how they really are because they've spent so many years saying their 29 that they just don't know their real age. So in turn that makes them feel better?? Hmm... NOPE I can't be one of those woman!! Lol. Plus my friends would never let me get away with not getting older. Lol. So why am I so depressed this year?? I can think of a few different reasons that might lead a person into feeling depressed on thier birthday. I live too far away from my entire family (friends are included in my family). I'm living a new kind of life (HOOAH). Some people may not realize what being an Army family really means, scarafice. It's a whole other beast! I'm so serious. Another reason may be that I haven't reached any personal goals yet, there for my mortality comes into play?? "/ Whatever is it mama's in FUNK! I've got to figure out away to de-funkify myself so I can atleast have a smidge of a good day. Lol. Okey enough with that.



I think Dawson, my oldest, he's 5, is like eating some kind magical growing weed or something because he just keeps getting taller by the day. He's officially a kindygartener. And let me just say their are some hefty expectations with that. I'm just blown away by the fact that he will be able to read and write by the end of this year!! I don't remember much about kindergarten except playing in a sandbox and my full name written on my underwear. He's already coming home telling me he know's how to write his name and read "I am dog." Pssph. I just can't wrap my head around it. I cried on his first day of school but I did manage to control myself because I didnt want to freak him out but the feeling I had was just overwhelming, sort like I was having seperation anxiety. Lol. Both of my boys have been by my side every single day since they were born so it's hard to just send them off and be peachy about it. Elijah and I have taught both of our boys everything they know so the idea of someone taking over that position was liberating and scary as hell! He's doing great though. He's just has so much fun and tell us everything he's learning. I'm so proud of him and I know this is just the beginning.



Now Grady whose 4, he's just sort off in his own little world most of the time. You know like "LaLa Land." Lol. He's the kind of little boy who makes wishes on dandellions everytime we see one and is so quiet. I was more afraid of him getting bullied because he's just so sweet and quiet. He loves pre-school!! I was surprised that he didn't have a care in world when I left him in the classroom on his first day, which also made me kind of sad too because it's like he was moving on to bigger and better things. Haha. He's pretty special that little Grady. He told me the other day that his teacher taught him how to dance! Lol. He tries to convince Dawson that magic is real and mommy & daddy that he's a big boy and we all believe him!!



Thats just a teeny piece of me.



XOXO,
AL